Thank you for buying me this new suit. It feels great on my bare skin. I don't believe in underwear.

General Information
Gender: Male
Address: San Gabriel Valley, West Covina, California
Occupation(s): Greater City Water Employee (former)

Water Technology Expert

Other Information
Education: A degree in Advanced hydro-engineering

Two PhDs

Series Information
Episode Count: 2
First seen: Josh and I Work on a Case!
Last seen: Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!
Portrayer: Michael Hitchcock

Bert is character on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. He is portrayed by Michael Hitchcock .

Greater City Water Lawsuit

Rebecca goes to Bert for insight in her lawsuit against "Greater City Water ". After a trip into the sewer systems, Bert tells Rebecca of a conspiracy going on with the water in San Gabriel Valley. According to Bert "Greater City Water" has been bribing landlords to control redirect the water to Los Angeles and tenants have been ending up with no hot water. Bert learned all this from his previous job there, making Bert's testimony their key to winning the lawsuit. In "Josh and I Go to Los Angeles! " Bert is put on the stand and during Audra's cross examination, she exposes Bert's schizophrenia diagnosisi making Bert an unreliable witness and shattering Rebecca's entire case.


  • Has been a diagnosed Schizophrenic for the past 16 years
  • He worked for Greater City Water for 15 years


  • "Thank you for buying me this new suit. It feels great on my bare skin. I don't believe in underwear."
  • "I'm just gonna go back in my hole and eat some rats." 
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