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Textmergency is performed by a group of lawyers in That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!.

Storyline

In this song, the lawyers act as a rock band narrating Rebecca's text emergency, but they argue over the terminology of the situation.

Lyrics

Harry: Time is running out
You’ve got to act now.
Stay one step ahead
Of that moronic text somehow.
Connie: There’s no turning back
Here in the danger zone.
You’ve got to manually delete that text
From that dude’s cell phone!
Harry: It’s a textmergency,
Baby can’t you see.
Textmergency,
That term just occurred to me.
It’s gonna catch on instantly!
Connie: Wait, what about texttastrophe?
That sounds better to me!
Texttastrophe!
That could really spread virally!
Harry: I prefer textmergency.
Rebecca's Client: I accidentally texted my mother-in-law
A picture of my erection.
Connie's Client: I once group texted my whole staff
About my yeast infection.
Harry: Exactly! It’s so relatable, that’s why I coined the phrase…
Connie: Texttastrophe!
That’s the meme, don’t you agree?
Harry: All due respect,
Textmergency is the better term, Miss C.
Connie: Hmmm, I wanna go with texttastrophe
I already put it on Urban Dictionary.
Ghost of Steve Jobs: You fools! It doesn’t matter what it’s called. That’s right, it’s me, the ghost of Steve Jobs. What matters is that I control your lives from the grave! Technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones, ha ha ha ha ha. And when you send a few words to the wrong recipient, and it immediately destroys your life, that’s called a messagepocalypse!
Lawyers: Get out of here, Steve Jobs!
Connie's Client: Guys, what about that lawyer chick? We’ve gotten really off track…
Harry: She’s searching for the spare key.
Look under the mat!
Connie: It’s clearly hidden in that owl!
Rebecca's Client: Look in that flower pot, hurry!
Connie's Client: Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce.
Lawyers: Check the Buddha sconce, check the Buddha sconce!
She did it! Now she can delete the text
Harry: She won’t need to come up with a textcuse!
Connie: Texplanation!
Harry: Textmergency just flows.
Connie: No, dude, texttastrophe, it’s what it is.
Rebecca's Client: Dude, she’s totally right.
Connie's Client: Text-scuse me!

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